dear self

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 photo by josh horniak

wake up.
do it now.
waiting is no longer an option.
in your smile hides the goddess
for which you’ve always longed
in your shoulders, pulled back
your chest open and stretched
there is the seed of the light you seek,
the strength you think you lack.

rest now.
waking up is not a crazy dance
a leap off a cliff, the ocean’s edge
or crying out the story of your life
it is a simple moment beyond all that
and a simple moment before the music
starts back up again.

curl your body into the peace of
that moment
float there and take note of the way
your hand moving
stirs up the phosphorescence
take note but take no notes
writing has no place here.

show your teeth now.
people are lining up to see
those rounded rows
and remember
some will gasp, some will cower,
others will wink, flashing their own grin –
keep smiling
wisdom should not be hidden

remember what it was like,
those days of tight-lipped striving
towards something that was not you
and let a child crawl into your lap.
stroke her hair
and speak to her
as you would a woman
so that she remembers
when she finally wakes up
to her own years lost
that voice
that knew her at her truest.

undo the string
threaded gingerly thru your chest
and lose the pace
that once pulled you forward
even in your sleep

instead, look forward
and speak your knowing
to the air, the madrones,
the river, your lover, your parents,
your cast iron pan

feel the freedom of a castle
without wall or moat
built by stones
chosen by your own hands.

– maisie 11/26/13

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